Driving down main street today, the street lamps are on, wet leaves stick to my windshield, flags and banners flap in the wind. Another rainy, windy day here in Maine.
In the car we listen to Bing Crosby.
Anna sings "Baaa, laaa, booo, baaa" her voice soft and sweet.
I turn down the music, just a touch so I could hear her. I hold my breath, hoping she will not notice.
She sings on...
Addison reads a story to himself. He is caught in the moment, thinking no one can hear.
I hear Jack sucking his fingers, taking advantage of a quiet moment to drift off.
We drive by a farm house. The lamp is on, it pulls at my heart.
I wonder who is in there.
Is it an elderly woman?
Maybe a ten year old boy, home from school, sick, reading.
Maybe a mother, making a grocery list.....
I wonder if Meagan will have her baby today? I think it would be a nice day to have a baby.
I wonder if I will ever be in labor again.
I already have three beautiful gifts, two very planned, one delicious surprise.
I think this world, this place, has so much to offer.
I see things so differently than I used to. The good seems more beautiful, the bad seems so cruel. Something so great can be taken away so quickly. Something good can be waiting for you today.....
The weight of trying to mother, protect and do right by my children is such a massive thing. I think this is why the good seems better, and the bad seems worse than it used to.
We are home now, and I watch Jack look out the window, out at the storm. I am thankful that today, the good is really, really good. I know in my small world all is well.