Really being a mother is the most massive thing I have done. It is really all I ever wanted to do. I cried on the front steps when I was eight because my parents told me I could not get married and start a family when I was 16.
The thing is though, I don't need a lot of time to myself, away from the kids. When I first had Addison I wondered what I was feeling. I never wanted to be away, never wanted to miss a moment. I thought this was guilt. It's not. I want to be here. I know all too well that they are not going to want a bedtime story forever. Friday and Saturday nights will not be family nights, and hugs in public will no longer be welcome.
Sometimes, when they are all playing, and everything is peaceful, I just want to take the moment and soak every bit up in my head, hang onto it for when these days have slipped by. When sandy foot prints and mud pies are replaced by "Mom, can I have the car tonight?"
People feel the need to tell me all time that I need to get out more, get away more. Hmmmm, we are all different. Some of us need lots of alone time, some of us don't. Some like to do a lot, some like to relax when ever they can. If you are a working parent, or if you stay at home, get out a lot, or just once in a while, we are really just trying to do our best, aren't we? Just trying to do what is right for us and our family.
So I am driving along, sipping on a yummy drink, you know, the kind that if you never bought, you could be a millionaire, and listening to something other than Mickey Mouse.