Most mornings my husband is up and out of bed
I lay there, assuming the starfish position. It is
I wait for my youngest son to join me.
He runs in with messy hair, smelling so yummy, he snuggles close. All three of my kids used to do this but he is the only one that still
seems to need mama time first thing in the
morning. I won't let go of this tradition until he does.
Sometimes, in the middle of the living room,
he is playing
with his drone, deep in Minecraft, or making
a boobie trap. He seems so engrossed in what he is doing I don't even
think he is aware of me walking by, but then
he stops what
he is doing, grabs my waist, hugs me so tight
"I love you, mother." I never let go until he does.
If we are home or out in a public place
(it doesn't matter how public),
and we hear music, he and I automatically start
with arms around each other, sometimes three
yards apart. My two
older kids are mortified but I don't care,
neither does he. I never stop
dancing until he does.
He is never too busy, never too cool to have
his picture taken with
me. He loves it-the crazier the better.
Sometimes he asks to take
a silly picture in front of a mirror
(usually in a store or restaurant).
My answer is yes-it will always be
yes until he stops asking.
If he is upset, I can still change his mood.
This usually starts by
me tackling him to the ground, acting like
a crazy, snorting monster
that has to tickle him until he is happy
again. After his smile returns,
I lay there with him. I don't get up until
He still lets me smother him with kisses,
inhale his deliciousness.
He sometimes knows what I am thinking
when we are sitting next
to each other. He leans into me, lets me
kiss his cheeks, his head.
I don't stop until he pulls away.
He still lets me hold his hand when we cross
the street, when we
are in a crowded place, or just because I feel
like it. He doesn't
need me to do this anymore. There is no
chance of him running
away, he knows to stay close. Each time
I reach for his hand he
reaches back. I don't let go until he does.
He doesn't mind if I eat some of his candy
without asking. He will share
his cookie with me even if it is the last one.
He laughs when I stick my
finger in the icing of his piece of cake.
He always tells me I can have
more if I want some. Honestly,
I will always do this, whether he likes it
I know he will grow up all too soon and like his
older siblings, not have
much time or tolerance for his mother.
He won't let me kiss him as much,
I might have to fight for hugs and snuggling
every morning will become
something we used to do. Dancing in public
won't be our thing anymore and I won't be able to coax him out of a bad
mood by acting like a wild boar.
He is my youngest, my last child and I will not
let go, not until he does.
I will a bit when it is time, but that time has not
come yet. So, for now
we will embrace in the middle of the room,
hold hands in the grocery
store and take pictures together in random
places, and I will be all in,
for all of it, hanging on to these moments. Every single one.